“When she bleeds, the smells I know change color. There is iron in her soul on those days. She smells like a gun.”
Alright so, as I was walking back home with a friend, I noticed her expressions were turning mopey. Minutes of waiting and I couldn’t thwart back the urge to ask what the hell on earth was bothering her so much. As instantly as I popped the question, her facial expressions stirred in one bit. She drew her mouth close to my ear and meekly whispered, “It’s my stupid period again!“ With that, the both of us rolled in aisles.I mean, periods are so much fun to gossip about, aren’t they? Who knew periods were still a taboo in this modern era! Before the pregnancy scare, you hated your period, but now it’s your best friend…. Now it’s like ‘Hey, Period! Missed you! How was your month? You look great. But honestly, they’re too much to deal with. PMS- Prepare to Meet Satan. It’s that time of the month when you keep asking yourself ‘WHY BLOOD??? WHY NOT FAIRY DUST OR SOMETHING!!’. It’s that time of the month when you want to hog on tubs of ice-cream and boxes of pizza. It’s that time of the month when you want to curl up in a ball and go to slumberland, but you also want to burn your ex’s house down. It’s that time of the month when you want to cry the eff out but at the same time want to giggle hysterically. It’s that time of the month when you push people away but also want to be loved. We aren’t always on our period, but when we are, we just ovary-act.
Puns apart. Living in the 21st centenary, it’s interesting that so much embarrassment, awkwardness, and shame surround a natural bodily function experienced by half the population at some point in their lives. We don’t hide toilet paper away, yet some women still get flustered if a tampon drops out of their handbag, or we might buy a floral-patterned tin to hide our sanitary pads. If you spotted some toilet roll tucked away and covered in a little bespoke baggy in someone’s loo, wouldn’t you find it faintly ridiculous? And yet that’s what we do all the time with sanitary products, as if the evidence that we have periods is something to be ashamed of. While we continue to progress with Make in India and the Mars project, the mentality of most of us is still limited to warding off the evil eye with brooms and flip-flops! One of the most rampant taboos in India is the notion of impurity attached with the natural female body process of menstruation. If statistics are anything to go by, a shocking 70% of women in India still use old rags to soak the flow. Apparently in some parts of the county, menstruating women are cursed. I can’t figure out why exactly but may be it is because of the fact that we bleed. Yeah, may be that. Would plants also start menstruating if women on their period watered them? Yes, as illogical as it sounds, women are not allowed to water plants during periods. I recently had a talk with a lady. I asked her as to why are girls not allowed to touch a Tulsi (basil) plant during her menstrual cycle. Her answer was, ‘beta, since there is clemency of toxins from your body during this time, the plant gets affected and eventually withers away. Haanji, you’re absolutely right. Slow claps for you, lady. You mean to say, a woman who releases natural toxicant substances from her body is considered impure whereas, you spreading such profane bullcrap does not even appear under the tag of ‘impurifying people’s mentality’. Amazing! Her touch can rot the food so kitchen is off-limits. Honestly woman, if you’re reading this, get up and touch all the veggies in your fridge. I promise they won’t rot. Why is menstruation still a taboo in India? Why is it so difficult for people to accept the fact that damn yes, we bleed. Big deal! What part of my statement is not clear to those obnoxious people out there that, menstruating is a natural process?
Grow a pair of fallopians first, honestly!